Had a dream about old friends last night. It evoked severe nostalgia as well as the feeling of needing to reconnect with those people.

We were in an old house-turned-bar fighting with three atrocious, monster-like men to the death. I watched two of my cousins die from head trauma, yet it didn't really seem to phase me. And it was like nothing had happened when a memory from my past walked through the front door. There was a period of about 2-3 years that we were really close. We shared things about our relationships, gave each other advice, drove around in my (then) new car blaring RX Bandits and Operation Ivy. He was fun. Gradually, our feelings developed into something more than just friends, but it never blossomed. I still see it as a result of something beautiful. After that time period, we simply grew apart. His attention turned elsewhere, and I was forced to be content with that.

Tell me - is this all it's gonna be?

Please hold for transfer.

I have finally caved. I'm ready for tattoo number two. This one won't have as much meaning as the anchor, but I think it suits my girlish personality. I want to get an antique cameo in plain black on my right upper forearm. For awhile I wasn't sure if I wanted anymore ink, but working in Austin has changed my mind. So many incredible pieces of art injected into the skin of the city, it was only a matter of time before it persuaded me.

I've seen a few good movies lately. HANNA was especially brilliant. An enigmatic thriller starring Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana and Cate Blanchett with a stunning score by The Chemical Brothers. The other day on my day off, I caught A Serious Man on HBO, which impressed me as well. Not surprising for a Coen bros film. Dark comedies warm my soul.

I'm in the prime of my life, so to speak. I'm happy for the most part, but somehow I don't feel complete. I feel as if I'm forever ruined because of past events in my love life. I don't want to be this way- think the things I think, remember specific instances, doubt people around me. I have such a lack of energy all the time, which the cure could be something as simple as changing my diet. I want to try not to consume as much sugar as I usually do. I've had quite the sweet tooth the past few months and that needs to change. I'd like to drink less alcohol and less soda. If I makes these changes and experience no results, I have no clue what my next move will be. Hell, I take my vitmains and love my veggies!

I'm looking forward to the move to South Austin with my love. We've been selecting new furniture and saving our pennies to make our real first place together as warm and true to ourselves as possible. I can't wait to be able to have people over for dinner parties and games nights and all that other cliche young coupley stuff. We'll hopefully be getting a new addition to the family as well, a baby kitty that I want to name Iris.

Cheers.

like snow, like gold

"I wrote this for a baby
Who has yet to be born
My brother's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm
Cause it's cold out here
And it'll be quite a shock
To breathe this air
To discover loss
So I'd like to make some changes
Before you arrive
So when your new eyes meet mine
They won't see no lies
Just love."

-Conor O.