On Learning As You Go

Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.

It's no secret to my friends and family that I've been "boy crazy" since I was a little girl.  I seriously had a new crush every school year from first grade through senior year of high school, and I can honestly still name every single one of them.  What can I say?  It gave me something to look forward to daily and kept school interesting.  My first real boyfriend, meaning there was a mutual interest, not just me obsessing over a guy and him not even being aware of my existence, was in ninth grade.  He was a sweet skateboarding musician who wrote a song for me and gave me heart-shaped Altoids.  Not sure why, but I got a little freaked out that a boy actually LIKED me back, and I didn't quite know how to handle it so I broke it off and shattered his little heart to pieces, I'm sure.  He's happily married now, so I don't feel too guilty.  The next boyfriend (tenth grade) was a bit of an eccentric, but that's why I liked him.  We met in orchestra (so romantic, I know) and stayed together for about six months before I did something unbelievably silly and got myself grounded for the whole summer.  So I was grounded, he was out of state visiting his dad and it just fell apart.  Junior year, I tried the whole "we make great friends, maybe we could be more" thing with one of my good guy friends, but that was just a mistake from the start because I never really liked him that way.  He was a fun date to the homecoming dance and treated me really well.  He's one of the few my parents and Nana actually liked so of course they asked about him for years to follow and constantly questioned why I broke his heart.  He's in a serious, committed relationship now with a girl he met in college, so I don't feel too guilty about that now either.  Although, it did take him a few years to accept my Facebook friend request.  Senior year brought about my first REAL relationship.  The first guy I feel like I truly loved.  However, looking back on that relationship I can hardly remember any happy times out of the entire two-year roller coaster.  I just remember way too much insecurity and too many tears.  After I got out of that mess, I grew much more independent, open and honest with myself.  I knew I couldn't handle another relationship like that, I felt like I had broken out of a cage, and there was no way I was going back to a similar situation.  During the next year, while I was in college, I went on a few dates, allowing myself a little more control so I wouldn't feel trapped and dependent like before.  I kept things very casual.  I wasn't out looking for another heavy, serious relationship, but if it happened, I was ready to let someone in again if it felt right.  Sure enough, I met and got to know Jason.  He is my best friend, my other half and all the things in between.  After all of that silliness and drama, I realized - THIS is what it's supposed to be like.  This is love.  I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but at some point, everything just came together and clicked.  

Throughout everything - the ups, the downs, the flowers, the heartbreak - I never really regretted anything.  Even the negative relationship at the end of high school and beginning of college was an important learning experience for me.  Relationships are a crucial part of who you are.  They force you to look places and consider things you never thought you would, but, in the end, it's all worth it because you find yourself.  You learn so much about yourself and how you feel about other people, what you want out of relationship, how you want to be treated and how you should treat the other person.  There is no time or place for regret.  Every little mistake is just a piece of the puzzle that comes together at a time when you least expect it to.  Just keep making mistakes.  I promise you, it's the only way to one day make sense of this crazy little thing called love.  Sorry for the mushiness, but it had to be done.

xoxo

Found Treasures

I was going through pictures on my computer and came across these few snapshots from this past Mothers' Day.  I guess I had forgotten to share them on my post from that day.  This sweet little moment was captured early on in the day when Aunt Kandace (left in the picture) and Mikki (right) were showing Nana the progress of their homegrown backyard vegetable garden.  I feel like it goes without saying how much I love my family.  I mention them quite a bit on my blog because they are such a huge and crucial component in my life.  I know it sounds redundant and cliché, but I honestly don't know what I would do without each and every one of them.  Besides, how precious is my Nana? If you've ever met her, you know how hilarious, honest, strong and absolutely beautiful she is.  I wish I could see her more and that there weren't three hours of highway between us, but that just means, when I do get a chance to see her, it matters that much more to me, and I try to make each and every second count.

Farewell Little Red Barn House

How do you bid adieu to a house?  A house that has been a part of your life from day one.  A house that is the very blood in your veins.  A house that you thought would always be there to go back to whenever you pleased.  A house so beautiful it makes you jealous to think another family will be living there soon.  Too soon.  

My heart will break into little pieces on July 31.  

That uneven brick driveway, the oversized azalea bushes out by the street, the rarely-used front door, the huge backyard that once housed Pop's vegetable garden, the tree I would swing from in the side yard, those times when there would be close to ten cars parked in the driveway and out in the yard, the time I found a baby garden snake slithering through the grass attempting to not be seen, the crunch of the leaves under your feet on Halloween night, the frogs that were always hanging around the side door, the outdoor phone on top of the refrigerator, the croquet set in the corner of the garage, the patio Pop constructed himself, the mornings we would sit out there and smell the Crosby air.  

There are so many things about that house I'm going to miss, and I know everyone in my family feels the same.  It has been a sweet, untouchable symbol and foundation for our family for over 50 years, and it's going to be so hard to let it go when July 31 is upon us, but we'll always have the memories and the pictures of all the wonderful times spent in that little house on Nightbird Trail.

Nice To See You Again, Old Sport

photo credit:  www.vol1brooklyn.com

"Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her.  

If you can bounce high, bounce high for her too 'til she cries

 'Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover, I must have you!"

Thomas Parke D'Invilliers

A Sweet Celebration of Love

Well, Helen and Corey's wedding celebration came and went so quickly!  It feels like just yesterday we were celebrating their engagement at Peche downtown.  I had been looking forward to this wedding for months because I knew Helen would make sure it was the classiest of all affairs, and it truly was.  Both the ceremony and the reception took place at The Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center.  It was a beautiful and breathtaking venue, the weather was perfect (a tad on the chilly side but we weren't outdoors for very long) and the food was delicious - catered by Whole Foods.  It was such a treat getting to meet their families and other friends and to catch up with Krista and Kyle, who we don't get to see too often because they live in San Francisco.  Some of my favorite parts of the wedding include Helen's signature cocktail (Pimm's Cup), the table centerpieces (little finished wooden boxes filled with succulents made by Corey's grandfather), the tiny pecan, lemon and buttermilk pies for dessert, and, of course, the visible ora of happiness that surrounded both Corey and Helen the entire evening.  I am so glad I got to be a part of the celebration of this new union between two wonderful people.

So This Is Love.

Love is what makes life divine.

Love is the frosting on the cupcake, the cherry on the sundae and every little beat of the heart.

It's so wonderful and crazy to think that this is my fourth Valentine's day to celebrate with Jason.  Every year we plan something fun and romantic, and it's truly a holiday I get so giddy over.  In 2010, for our very first Valentine's Day as a couple, we went to Palmer's in San Marcos partly because it's pretty much (or at least was) the ritziest restaurant in town and partly because we had never been and were interested to check it out.  Jason gave me a gorgeous silver necklace with a black and white diamond heart-shaped pendant, and I gave him a hand-painted picture frame with a picture of me with our dog Fozzie and cat Hunter.  The next year we celebrated our relationship in New Orleans, one of our favorite getaway spots!  We dined and drank to our hearts content and returned to Austin with a couple of, what I consider to be love-themed, street art pieces from Jackson Square.  For our third Valentine's Day together, Jason treated me to dinner and a movie at one of our favorite local spots, the Alamo Drafthouse on South Lamar.  For the holiday, the theater hosted a "Princess Bride Valentine's Day Feast" where they showed the classic love story, The Princess Bride, and served a four-course meal with drink pairings.  We had been to one of the Alamo's feasts before for New Year's Eve when they showed The Apartment, and we obviously enjoyed ourselves enough to try out another.  For Jason's gift, I reserved two spots at a Whole Foods cooking class where we learned to make some traditional southern comfort foods.  

This time around Jason was scheduled to work in the evening so we went out to dinner last night at Salty Sow, which I'm pretty positive is my new favorite place ever.  We ordered duck fat fries for an appetizer which were perfectly crisp the way fries should be and served with two soft poached eggs on top and bernaise sauce for dipping.  Jason ordered the candied pork belly, I ordered the petite bone-in fillets medium rare with red wine bone marrow sauce and mushrooms (OH MY YUM!) and we shared the bananas foster beignets for dessert.  Probably one of the best meals I've had in a long time.  I'm not a huge lover of red meat, but I do enjoy a nice bright pink fillet from time to time, especially when it's paired with a magnificent, flavorful sauce like that!  Oh, and if you ever find yourself at this lovely little eatery in east Austin, I highly recommend the house-made blood orange Blanche frozen margarita.  So, so heavenly.  As you can imagine, we were both quite stuffed and happy at the end of the meal.  When we returned home, Jason surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of red roses, a heart-shaped box of assorted chocolates and a card in which I found the sweetest handwritten message that got me all teary-eyed!  I got him a couple of Dogfish Head beers, some candy and a sweet little card as well.  

It's such a treat to be so in love with your best friend and to be able to share something so intimate and personal.  No two relationships are the same; each one has its own qualities and reasons for survival.  I feel so lucky to have found love and to have made it to nearly four years with this remarkable guy.  Here's to many more Valentine's Day celebrations with him!

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day to you too!

xoxo

Like Crazy

Like Crazy is one of the sweetest, most realistic movies I have ever seen.  I am so mad at myself for letting it just sit on my Netflix queue for months without checking it out.  The actors are brilliant, the story is haunting and lovely, and I just can't stop thinking about it.  Definitely one of my new favorite films.

The story begins with two young college students who meet in a class in Los Angeles.  Anna is an ambitious writer from the UK studying in LA on a student visa.  Jacob is starting his own custom-made furniture business with his degree in architecture.  She pursues him by writing him a love letter and leaving it on his car.  He is smitten with her tenacity and beauty and calls her up and of course they fall madly in love.  Then the sad part happens - she's only in the states for as long as her visa allows and must go back to the UK.  Time runs out, and she panics and on a whim decides to ignore the requirements of the visa and just stay in LA with Jacob for the summer.  That, of course, comes back to bite her as the government doesn't mess around when it comes to immigration policies.  After a week's vacation to the UK to see her parents, U.S. Customs at LAX will not let Anna back into the states because of her visa violation so she is forced on a plane back to the UK, away from Jacob.  The remaining length of the movie illustrates the struggles and insecurities of their long distance relationship as they both build separate, successful lives in totally different countries.  

I highly recommend seeing this film if you're into love stories.  It's one of the best that I've seen.  It's a story about first love, being human, making decisions, facing consequences and the reminder that change is beautiful and devastating all at once.

Politics & Religion: A Naked Moment

I don't quite know how to start this, and I have to tell you that I'm not super excited to be opening myself up this much on my personal blog.  My intention for this space was to try my absolute best to keep it peaceful, light and as a beautiful piece of the web to hold my memories and pictures.  However, I'm afraid I have to allow my original purpose for this to subside for a moment so I can discuss something very crucial, personal and deep.  I know this will surprise some people, maybe even those that I hold closest to my heart, but that's okay; it's necessary that I voice my opinions in order to be honest with everyone (myself included).  Please know that I am not trying to offend anyone.  I am only telling my own personal thoughts and feelings.

Beginning as far back as I can remember, I was raised to be a Christian - to believe that God created the world; that Jesus Christ, his son, died for our sins so that we could be born again and spend eternity in heaven after we die.  It seems so easy...simply stated - just believe this and you will not spend forever in the fires of hell.  As a child, hell definitely didn't seem like a place I'd like to live someday, and the idea of God sounded surreally wonderful.  I chose to believe it; to believe something no one can prove or see with their own eyes, but it somehow made sense to me and I rarely questioned it.  When I did question it from time to time I was told, well, that's what faith is...believing something you can't see.  You just have to trust it and know in your heart that it's the truth.  Okay.  So I continued to believe.

In the later years of elementary school, I remember attending a local baptist church with my family.  I've never been a fan of church, especially the services.  I was always incredibly bored unless I suddenly noticed many people laughing at something the pastor had said, and that would get my attention for a little while as I listened intently waiting for the man with the strange accent to say something funny again.  I attended children's choir at this church, and I was actually given rather large acting roles with singing parts and even solos in a few different plays put on by the church.  At this time, I was enjoying going to church on Wednesday nights, singing with my church friends and learning about the Bible.  I was even baptized when I was 9, if I recall correctly.  I remember being told that I had to make the decision to have a personal relationship with God in order to be baptized and washed clean of my sins.  It seemed strange to have a personal relationship with something I wasn't even 100% positive existed, but I was convinced He was real and I needed to do this to spend my afterlife in heaven with the people I love.

I've always heard people say they have conversations with God, or God has spoken to them and told them what to do in tough situations.  I used to try so hard to talk to God.  I would pray and pray and pray and ask God to send me a sign.  I think I may have gotten a sign a time or two, but it could have just been a coincidence.  Who really knows?  I prayed harder than I ever had in my life when I saw my Pop having a seizure in the passenger seat of his friend's car sitting in the driveway when I was 11.  I fell while running up the stairs to get away from the chaos, squeezed my eyes shut so tight as tears came streaming out and I prayed.  Why is this happening?  Make it stop.  Make him all right.  It isn't time for him to go yet.  He died ten days later.  I remember seeing his body - bruised, yellow in coloring laying on the hospice bed, lifeless after having fought so hard.  But I continued to believe.  Bad things happen sometimes, and we cannot control it.  It was time for him to go.  God wouldn't have taken him if it wasn't time.  Although, some people in my family didn't believe he would go to heaven, so for all I know he could be burning in hell right now.

Back to the topic of church.  By the time middle school rolled around, I was attending "Surge" which was a youth group that met on Wednesday nights.  I really enjoyed the youth leader.  He always made sure we were having a good time, one way or another, with silly songs, props and dances.  The thing I didn't like about it was that my old choir friends were different.  We weren't really friends anymore.  The youth group became very cliquey and no matter how hard I tried to be a part of their groups, I didn't feel welcome.  I felt like an outsider that didn't belong.  It was almost humorous how quickly things had changed.  It's not that they were rude to me and it may have solely had to do with the fact that they all went to the same school and I attended a different one.  Whatever the reason, I started disliking church again.  My freshman year of high school, there was a church youth group for high schoolers that was "all the rage" called M-Pact.  What I found interesting about M-Pact was that the same kids I would see worshiping and praising the Lord with their hands lifted up and waving in the air, tears pouring down their faces because of the feelings they were supposedly feeling, were the same kids cursing in school, drinking, running around in the hallways grabbing each other's body parts to be funny, being disrespectful to teachers and so on.  It just didn't add up to me.  These kids considered themselves Christians?  This made me view the idea and institution of church even more negatively, and I gradually stopped going to M-Pact.

Fast-forward to college.  Everyone knows college is supposed to be where teenagers grow into adults and make decisions and choices that shape who they will become.  It's true.  I met a lot of different people from various backgrounds with various views and opinions.  I made some wonderful friends and formed relationships that I still cherish and respect.  It was an extremely happy time for me, and there are many things about that time in my life that I miss a great deal.  Now, I'm an adult.  I have made the afore-mentioned choices that have begun to shape me into the person I am and will continue to be.  Some of these unfavorable decisions have disappointed my family.  I moved in with my boyfriend right after graduation.  We had been dating for about a year and four months, and I saw it as a waste to pay for my own place because I was almost always over at his apartment anyway.  So for reasons of finance and love, I moved in with him.  Two apartments later, we still live together in - what some would consider - a bed of sin.  It's a pretty delightful bed of sin if you ask me.  He's my best friend and I learn more and more from him everyday, about him and about myself.  I'm content and, it's really wonderful.

The ideals of Christianity, faith and the afterlife honestly don't cross my mind too often these days.  I'm not saying I believe there is no God; I would still like to believe that there is, and sometimes I do.  I mean, truthfully, no one knows what happens after we die.  People either choose the road of believing in heaven and hell as real places of the afterlife, or they think it's all an idea/elaborate story to make people feel better about death.  At this time, I'm not really sure what I believe, and it's been this way for quite some time now.  People are always pressuring me to believe something - I HAVE TO believe something.  All I know is that I believe in family, love, happiness and being the best person you can be during the short time we have on Earth.  No one knows what's next, and that's okay.

Now personal views aside.  Let's talk about the Bible.  The Bible says homosexuality is wrong, an "abomination" is the word used I believe.

"If a man has sex with another man, kill them both." Leviticus 20:13

Okay, that's pretty clear.

Others sins in addition to homosexuality, according to the Bible, include getting tattoos on your body (I have a tattoo), cutting your hair and/or beard (pretty sure most people do this on a regular basis), eating pork, eating any kind of seafood (these organisms are considered unclean) and having wounded genitals (yes, you read that right).

"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord." Deuteronomy 23:1

Another sin mentioned in the Bible is cursing at your parents.

"And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death." Exodus 21:17

Getting remarried after a divorce is also considered a sin, unless of course your husband cheated on you.  Also, working on the sabbath is a sin punishable by death.  That scares me a little because I don't have the ability to choose my work schedule and therefore work most every weekend.

"Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth any work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people."  Exodus 31:14-15

What I find a little odd is that Christians have somehow evolved and managed to forget some or all of these sins except for homosexuality.  If God views all sin the same, what sets homosexuality apart from getting remarried after divorce?  This cherry-picking just doesn't make sense to me.  These are the kind of inconsistencies that make me question the whole belief.

I have an endless amount of respect and love for my Nana because she has come to terms with having a gay daughter.  She struggled with it for a little while and finally decided to "love the sinner, hate the sin."  She doesn't nag my aunt about her choices and her lifestyle.  She loves her just the same as her other daughters, and told me personally about the gratitude she has toward my aunt for taking such great care of her in this difficult last year and a half that Nana has developed health problems.  Not a single day goes by that my aunt doesn't call to check on Nana, and she even had a new room built onto her house that Nana lived in during the past year.  They are two of the best people in my life - pure souls in a mixed-up world.

Moving on to a somewhat current topic in politics with the presidential election upon us - women's rights.  This is a subject that never ceases to infuriate me, but I'll attempt to keep it brief.  It's disconcerting that this is even still a present issue in society.  

Here are some verses from the Bible concerning women's rights:

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." 1 Corinthians 14:34-36

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." Colossians 3:18

"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Genesis 3:16

I don't even know how to react or respond to these verses.  No wonder our country isn't willing to give equal rights to its women or let them make decisions regarding their own bodies.  These are the philosophies and beliefs many people grow up reading and studying.  What do you say to this?  I'm sorry, but a husband should not "rule over" his wife.  It's called a partnership for a reason.  It's not a master-slave relationship.

As far as the election goes, I honestly don't love either presidential candidate.  I watched parts of the debates and they both use colorful, buttered-up vocabulary and talk about percentages and numbers like they've got the bandage for our wounded country, but when it comes down to it, they're just trying to win us over with their words and their promises.  Amidst the shred of honesty they may convey, most of their talk is lies.  We've seen it happen over and over again.  This time it's no different.  Unlike many others, I'm not going to flat out announce who I'm voting for, but it's probably pretty obvious given this post.

I'm not trying to convince anyone to believe anything other than what they already do.  I just had to tell this story and get some of these thoughts out of my head and into real words.  It feels good to be open and honest - a breath of fresh air, a naked moment.

Gossip Girl: Chuck and Blair

Ok, it's guilty pleasure time, guys.  You should really feel thankful that I don't bombard you with my Gossip Girl obsession more often so I think you can handle what I'm about to throw your way.  I've been watching the teen drama for the past 5-6 months or so via Netflix Instant starting with S01 E01, and I just finished the last episode available, S04 E22.  I am dying!  Season four ended with so many crazy cliffhangers I'm about to lose my mind.  Therefore I just had to jerk up my MacBook and youtube clips from season five immediately.  I won't give too much away, but I have to share with you my passion for Chuck and Blair's chaotic frenzy of a relationship.  Chuck has mommy and daddy issues GALORE, and Blair is an anal retentive head case.  Match made in heaven, my friends.  Yes, of course I love Serena and Dan, and they BETTER end up together at the show's conclusion or else.  However, in lieu of what I just witnessed on my television screen I'm a little more fixated on C+B for the time being.  I am going to share with you a few of my favorite C+B scenes throughout the show thus far.  C'mon!  Suffer with me, people.

Kousins' Kamp 2012

Oh boy, Kousins' Kamp!  Where to begin?  Back in 2008, my mom got this great idea called "Cousins' Camp" from her friend Jenelle.  It's basically a family reunion sans the creepy, distant relatives you've never met before that like to pinch your cheeks and chat about how big you've gotten...and without (most of) the drama that comes with large family gatherings.  So on my mom's side of the family, we decided to make Cousins' Camp an annual thing (as long as we could manage it) and we changed the C's in Cousins' Camp to K's because most of the Kitchen family has K names - My mom is Kary and her sisters are Kim, Kelley and Kandace.  Kelley's kids are Keller and Kirby.  Kandace's kids are Kody and Kaylie, and my mom has me (Kassie) and Kaleb.  The odd balls without K names are Esther, Sarah, Abigail and my sister, Micah.  I should have made a flow chart for better understanding, huh?!

I am basically obsessed with that side of my family.  I love how close-knit we all are and how supportive and loving everyone is toward each others, in most cases.  Our family, as a whole, has been through a lot together, lots of highs and lows, yet we've all stuck together and provided that shoulder to lean on in all situations.  Sure, we have our disagreements about lifestyle choices, religion and politics, but what's so great about us, is that we do have so many differing opinions on important matters, but we all still love and cherish each other despite everything.  We Kitchens are a force of nature.

Anyway, back to the Kamp.  Our first Kousins' Kamp was in 2008, the second in 2009, the third in 2010 and the fourth was this past weekend.  They have all been at Nana's house in Crosby, our sanctuary, the one place that ties all of us together.  That big barn house cradles many precious memories and has plenty of room for more to come.

In past Kousins' Kamps, we had more events and activities like various outdoor races, obstacle courses, hands-on cooking, scavenger hunts and more.  This year, we relaxed the schedule a little and did more catching up, chatting and reminiscing past gatherings.  We still had Krafts with Sarah; we decorated picture frames to hold pictures from Kousins' Kamp as a sort of souvenir.  We did some line dancing out in the driveway, played a few thousand rounds of Yahtzee and Scattergories, watched home videos,  played croquet out in Nana's big front yard, made ice cream sundaes, ate our traditional Kitchen family foods - chicken spaghetti, taco soup and, of course, Velveeta & Rotel cheese dip!  We even had a bit of a war - the elder and wiser females vs. the psychotic teenage boys attempting to attack us with twirling rifles and batons from the 1980s all in order to protect the large flat screen TV they stole from the living room so they could watch their inappropriate movies in the upstairs bedroom.  Tsk tsk.

Sadly, the weekend had to end a little early for some.  Esther, Sarah, Abigail and Aunt Kim left Sunday night so Esther could fly out to Florida the next morning, and Kaleb and Keller both had football practice early Monday morning.  Yesterday afternoon, the fun family-filled weekend came to an official close with the ultimate finale of delish butter burgers at Culver's with my Mom, Micah and Kirby.

Friday night after Kaleb's football game. GO EAGLES!!!

Sitting around the kitchen table as usual.

Proudly holding a painting of my mom from back in the day.

Playing a hilarious game of Scattergories!

Going on a walk around the block with sweet Nana

Brother, Sister and I with Nana

Eating ice cream sundaes!

The "little" girls with Nana

Gearing up for the Egg Toss

Micah being silly

The Masters of Croquet

The Big Girls

Lastly, I have a video montage that my brilliant 14-year-old cousin Kirby put together throughout the weekend:

Quick Little Post

Oh, hi there.  I guess I let the weekend run away with me there.  It was quite the weekend, lemme tell ya.  My sweet friend Rachel and her boyfriend Adam came down for a visit so I spent Saturday night on Rainey Street with them and a few of their friends.  Even though we spent most of the night crammed and huddled up inside Bar 96 whilst it poured rain like a mad woman outside.  Not complaining too much though; we Austinites most definitely welcome the rain any chance we get.  I had such a great time I ended up staying out until around midnight regardless of having to work at 7 a.m. the next morning.  Of course I was rather tired Sunday at work, but it was all worth it in my humble opinion.  Besides I had yesterday and today off so I've been able to rest up and watch plenty of my guilty pleasure - Gossip Girl.  I'm on season four, and it just keeps getting crazier!  I'm shamelessly obsessed.

Anyway, this morning I've been doing a little planning.  Jason's birthday is coming up next month, and mine is in October, so, naturally, we've been discussing possible plans for our special days.  Jason is still super interested in brewing his own beer, so he wants a starter home-brewing kit, and I'm sure we'll go out to dinner or wherever he wants.  I previously wanted to go down to good old Magnolia, Texas for the Texas Renaissance Festival, but I've decided on a more mature outing - a hill country winery tour!  I am so excited!  I've been researching a bunch of wineries the past couple of hours and I've narrowed it down to the Driftwood Estate Winery, Bell Springs Winery in Dripping Springs and the Duchman Family Winery.  In addition to the tour, I figured we could eat some delicious Salt Lick barbecue while we're out there.  It just seems silly and irresponsible not to, ya know?

Now, I must go get ready for a little afternoon date with my favorite man.  We're going out for lunch at this cajun place called Evangeline Cafe.  I'll let you know how it is!  Have a lovely day. xoxo

Flashback Friday

Ahh, the sweetness of young love.  This is mine and Jason's first picture together as a couple!  It was taken sometime toward the end of 2009.  I always refer to this picture as the "baby seed" picture because our relationship was so fresh and new like a baby seed that needs nurture and care in order to blossom into a beautiful piece of nature.  And if I may say so myself, we've got a green thumb.  It's absolutely mind-blowing that we've been together for almost three years!  We are better than ever, and I have such an enormous, ever-growing amount of respect for Jason.  He inspires me every day and makes me want to be the best possible person I can be.  I cherish all of the time we have together, and I feel so lucky to be able to grow and prosper with my best friend beside me all the while.  I love you, Jason.  xoxo

Lots of Righteous Death at the Mohawk Last Night

Photo by Jim Barrett

BASS DRUM OF DEATH is probably my favorite new band.  Lo-fi garage rock produced by two cuties from Oxford, Mississippi that you can dance to?  I think yes.  Their 2011 release, GB City, is true love on ice with a cherry on top as far as I'm concerned.  I have listened to this album countless times over the past year, and it never ever ever gets old.  Jason and I had the pleasure of seeing them live for the second time last night at the Mohawk with the also awesome duo DZ Deathrays from Australia.  BDOD is currently recording their second album which I will be buying on the release date.  And I will continue to see them live every time they come through Austin.


Here are some old-ish videos from the SPIN Loft during SXSW in Austin last year:

Many thanks to John Barrett and Colin Sneed for the colossal amount of fun I had last night.

xoxo

Summer Lovin'

"And if you're scared of the future tonight,
We'll just take each hour one at a time.

It's a pretty good night for a drive,

So dry up those eyes, dry up those eyes.

Because the radio will still play loud,

Songs that we heard as our guards came down.

Like in the summertime when we first met,

I'll never forget, don't you forget - these nights are still ours."

The Gaslight Anthem

It's lame, but I just now (like today) started listening to The Gaslight Anthem, and I don't for the life of me know why.  I am so surprised I never gave them a chance before, especially since I've always been an Against Me! fan.  I am a stranger to myself sometimes.  Their songs seem like good summertime songs - the lyrics are angsty, youthful and tell cute little stories of love and heartbreak.  Is there really anything better?  No, there isn't.

Ahhh, yesterday Jason and I got our sushi fix down in good ole San Marcos, Texas at Japan Latino.  I got my usual Sex on the Beach roll, Jason got the Seafood Dynamite roll and we each treated ourselves to Sakeritas.  Yum!  My mouth is watering, guys.  I could seriously eat sushi every single day.  

Some things I'm excited about right now:

1.  Eating sushi again ASAP  :)

2.  Moving on with my life, and refusing to let this post-college/pre-successful-adult-life chew me up and spit me out.  I will make something of myself!  This economy will not keep me down.

3.  PORTLAND next month with my best friend, Jessica.  I've already started piecing together a tentative schedule of events.  Planning ahead and looking forward to something keeps me sane.

4.  Looking into possibly doing something fancy for mine and Jason's three year anniversary.  I mentioned staying a night at the Driskill or maybe a resort on Lake Travis.  Basically, whatever we can afford when the time comes, but it will be extra special and full of love nonetheless.

Ashley & Cameron's Wedding/College Reunion With My Girls

This past Saturday Jason and I made the four hour drive through the sketchiest areas of Texas civilization to a little place that is mighty proud of their tomatoes - Jacksonville, Texas.  Along with my good friends Emily and Rachel and Rachel's boyfriend Adam, we stayed at the No.1 rated hotel in Jacksonville, the Holiday Inn Express.  It was pretty swanky, I must say.  I digress.  The reason for the trip and the ritzy hotel stay was for our sweet friend Ashley's wedding.  In college our little group of girlfriends included myself, Emily, Heather (who I've mentioned before), Rachel, Ashley R. (the bride) and Ashley W.  Throughout the three and a half years I attended Texas State, there were others that would join our group for a short while, but these are the friends that truly matter, the ones I know I will keep in contact with.

Ashley's love story is a bit of a fairy tale in that she married her high school sweetheart, Cameron.  He is a wonderful, generous fellow, and I just know they will live happily ever after.  I couldn't be happier for them, and at the same time, I am completely jealous of them because right now they're on their honeymoon in the Bahamas!  Finally someone's going someplace else besides Jamaica for their honeymoon.  The wedding was so classy and tons of fun, especially when all of us girls hit the dance floor together and Rachel forced the deejay to play "Lollipop" by Lil Wayne!  I'm afraid that's probably our trademark song from our college days, but it's still fun nonetheless.  It was so wonderful to see both of the Ashleys!  It had been way too long.  We would like to all get together again someday soon because it's always such a blast.  At the wedding reception while we were all bumping and grinding and doing "The Wobble" I lost track of time, and it all ended way too soon.  Next thing I knew, it was Sunday morning, and Jason and I were back on that boring country road back to Austin.  I know I whine and complain a lot about not having friends nearby, but I feel so lucky to have the friends that I do - near or far, they are the best friends a girl could have, and I wouldn't trade them for all the cupcakes in the world.

**Please excuse the quality of these photos.  They were taken with an iPhone because I forgot to bring my camera, of course.

Young-Life Crisis

Being in your twenties is a funny thing.  Basically, you're at your peak, physically speaking (for most people), you have more energy than you will in decades to come, your whole life is ahead of you with so many possibilities and opportunities, but it's also a very difficult, sometimes traumatic time.  It's frustrating when older people go on and on about how jealous they are of you and your youth and they encourage you to travel and "see the world."  Let me tell you, I would love nothing more, but I have to pay rent and bills each month which pretty much swallows up each and every paycheck I receive.  I'm slowly starting to save, but it's hardly anything because I need every cent I make.  So I won't be rushing off to Europe for months at a time.  Sorry, guys.  Looks like you won't get to live vicariously through me in the manner that you wish.  The way I see it is that I have all the years ahead of me to travel and see the world, but right now I'm just trying to find myself and simply get by.

I've never been a "live in the moment" kind of person.  I am super anxious all the time, and I'm always anticipating the next adventure.  This makes it difficult for me to enjoy things as they happen because I am constantly looking forward to the next thing.  Sad, I know, but also very true.  Lately, I've been peeking back into the past at certain times when I know I was really happy and trying so hard to remember exactly how that moment felt - what I could see, what I could smell and hear and the people there with me.  This isn't to say I'm not happy right now and I'm trying to remember what it is to be happy.  No, no.  I am very happy with how things are going for me.  I'm young and in love and I live in a beautiful, cultured city with lots of great sights and food.  It's just sometimes comforting to remember little moments of pure joy.

I was reading something the other day when I came across the question "where is home to you?"  The answer is the physical place/location where you feel the most comfort and happiness.  For me, it's probably Nana's house.  I've been going there for the past twenty-three and half years.  It's where many of my earliest memories take place.  I remember specific times of being over there.  The kitchen curtains open, natural light pouring into the room, the just-mopped floor still damp as the ceiling fan works hard to dry it, the faint smell of cleaning products and cigarette smoke, the theme song of The Young and the Restless coming in from the living room...

Nana is finally back in her house after mostly recovering from her heart surgery last summer.  She bounced around to different areas of the hospital before staying with my aunt Kandace for about six months until she felt comfortable enough to move back home.  Hopefully I'll get to go see her back at home, the way things have always been and should always remain.

It will be nice to be back in that barn-like house.  It will be nice to be home again.

An Interview With Jason (My 100th Post!)

I borrowed these interview questions for your spouse/significant other from Jess of IROCKSOWHAT.  I just thought it was a really neat idea, and I actually learned a few new things about Jason in the process.

1.  What was your first impression of me?  This girl doesn't feel the need to fill every second of silence with mindless chatter.

2.  How accurate do you think it was?  Totally accurate.  I feel like no silence between us has ever been awkward silence, just silence.  And silence is okay.

3.  What is your idea of a truly romantic evening?  Having a delicious dinner, a few drinks, perhaps going out to movie or watching one at home.  Just enjoying each other's company; that's all I need.

4.  If I promise not to get upset, can you tell me something you'd like to change in me but don't have the nerve to tell me?  There's nothing I would change about you.

5.  If you weren't in the profession you are now, what would be your dream profession and why?  A chef because I love to cook.

6.  Apart from the obvious one, what other two areas of your body are the most sensitive and most responsive?  My earlobes and my side.

7.  Can you name the three qualities that attracted you when you met me/got to know me?  (1) Your lips (2) You're a very cool character.  I never felt that you were trying to impress me; you were just being yourself, and I could tell.  (3)  And you accepted that I was the same way.

8.  What is your dream destination and why?  Argentina because of the diverse climates throughout the country and the different types of food and culture.

9.  Which is your favorite movie of all time and favorite scene in it?  I'm not really an "of all time" kind of person.  Nothing comes to mind.

10.  Which fruit or vegetable do you think I resemble and why?  A tomato because I'm not quite sure if you're a fruit or vegetable, but it doesn't matter because you're delicious.

11.  Can you remember your earliest childhood memory of fear and that of happiness?  Fear - when there was extreme weather...I think a tornado was nearby, and our dog Spot was outside, and I was really worried for Spot and afraid he would be taken away by the tornado.  Happiness - going to see my grandparents in Dallas.  I always loved my grandfather.  I was obsessed with that man as a kid.  It made me happy getting to visit him and spend time with him.

12.  Who is your favorite aunt/uncle/cousin and why?  Uncle Jimmy because he's easily relatable, fun and nonjudgemental.  He's the most like me.

13.  What are the qualities that draw you to people that you can base a friendship on?  Similar interests, people who are more introverted than extroverted.  I don't like people who force themselves on you.  I like relationships and friendships to evolve more naturally.

14.  Your first crush - what drew you to him or her?  I remember a girl in preschool who I had a crush on, and who knows what draws a preschool kid to have a crush on somebody?

15.  Your first date - where did you go, what did you do and how long did the relationship last?  We went to a middle school party, hung out and played video games, watched movies.  It lasted three weeks, maybe two...I don't know.

16.  How have you coped with break-ups in the past?  Complete severance.  At least at first.

17.  What has been your scariest dream?  I had a dream when I was a kid that the Wicked Witch of the West was chasing me through the Looney Tunes logo, and it never ended.  

18.  What has been your most frequently recurring dream?  A theme of being at work and something goes wrong, and I have to deal with the fallout of it.  Things just get crazier from there and it's totally unrealistic.

19.  What has been the best decision you've ever made?  To interview for a manager position at work because I had never planned to.  I was asked to by my boss.  I don't think I would have ever done it if she hadn't nudged me to do it.

20.  What decision do you regret the most?  Moving out of my parents' house so quickly.  I moved out before I was ready, and I was still struggling before I went to college and wasn't able to do well my first few years of college because I was having to work and make ends meet.

21.  What has been your proudest moment?  Graduating college.

22.  If you won the lottery, what are the first three things you would do?  Turn off my cell phone, invest in Google and take you out to a nice dinner.  What are five things you've been longing for that you would buy?  New car, new house, home recording studio, new guitar and a new fridge because I know you want one.

23.  If your house was on fire and you had the chance to save only five things, what would you choose?  Fozzie, Hunter, Maeby, You and my guitar.

24.  If you were asked whom you would like to be born again as, the answer would be... myself.

25.  What is your favorite ice cream flavor, favorite junk food and favorite dessert?  Blue Bell Tin Roof, Tin Roof and Tin Roof.

26.  Whose wardrobe would you most like to own?  I don't know.

27.  What's the one argument your parents had that you would like to avoid with your partner?  My parents never argued in front of me, so I don't know.

28.  What is your favorite asset/body part on a man/woman and why?  Lips, because they gotta be so kissable.

29.  What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?  That last question.

30.  If our relationship doesn't work out, do you think we could remain friends?  I don't want to think about that.  I would hope so.

31.  Who are you closer to - your mom or dad?  I don't think I'm really closer to either one of them.  I would say I'm equally close to each of them for different reasons.

32.  What is your favorite song and why?  "Mystic Rhythms" by Rush because of the atmosphere the song invokes and a little because of the memories.  I first bought the album back in 2004 when I was first really getting into Rush and that song always stood out to me.  It was on an album that a lot of Rush fans don't really like.  I'm one of the only people who really loves that synthesizer period of Rush.

33.  If somebody handed you a magic lamp and granted you three wishes what would they be?  Not all the money in the world, but enough to live comfortably and not have to work.  To be able to eat whatever I want and maintain perfect body mass index and be totally ripped.  And "world peace."

34.  What upsets you most in a relationship and what makes you the happiest?  When the other person is upset, and there's nothing I can do about it because I always want to, but I can't.  The synergy of a relationship makes me happiest, being so intertwined that you kind of know what the other person is going to say or do, but in a good, non-predictable way.

35.  What is your perception of how other people see you?  They probably think I'm a bit of a jerk.

36.  If someone told you they saw me with another guy, what would your first reaction be - she's cheating on me, he's probably an old friend or I need to get to the bottom of this?  He's probably an old friend.

37.  Can you think of something you craved for when you were young, but you were denied?  No, nothing.

38.  Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex?  No. 

Flashback Friday & Some Tunes

Jason and I at a friend's wedding in the Texas hill country // Summer 2010

Ah, to be young again, haha!  In all seriousness, I still can't believe it's been nearly three years with my guy.  It has absolutely flown by; I guess that's a good thing though. :)

Well, excuse the super short post, but I have an insanely busy Friday night planned playing with my pets, sipping my lime-a-rita and reading The Hunger Games.  Now, here's a track to take your Friday evening to the next level, babies.  I adore these guys!  We saw them sometime last year at The Mohawk downtown, and they jammed some serious jams and blew my mind.  I would die to see them again, so much fun.

BBQ, Beer & Other Bits

Figuratively speaking, today is my Monday.  Womp womp woommmmp.  However, I did have a great "weekend" the past two days.  Monday night I made delicious chicken pot pies as per Jason's request, but I was just as excited to make and devour those little bowls o' fatty goodness.  I got the recipe from Ms. Ina  Garten herself (via the Food Network's website).  If you enjoy comfort food heaven as much as I do, you've got to try this recipe.  Beware - it requires a TON of butter and some heavy cream, but if you absolutely must be a health-nut I'm sure you can make some substitutions.  Whilst stuffing our faces, Jason was sweet and let me melt over one of my favorite movies, Blue Valentine with Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling.  It's a real heartbreaker.  I mean that in the most literal sense possible.  It's a REAL heartbreaker. It will make a tear or two (or many) fall from your eyes, but I just love the honesty of it.  Plus, I just have a thing for depressing films with hot actors.

I spent the first part of Tuesday alone, indulging myself by sleeping in until 9 a.m. and catching a few episodes of Law & Order: SVU before heading over to the gym to partake in some unfamiliar bodily pain.  After the sweat storm wore off, I decided to indulge myself a little more by treating my taste buds and tummy to the magical wonder of Torchy's Tacos.  I got a green chile pork taco and a fried avocado taco (the absolute best) with a tall, beautiful glass bottle of Topo Chico to wash it all down.  After that, I drove home, freshened up, waited for Jason to get home from work and then we headed out for dinner and drinks.  Long story short, we ended up at Whip In, a convenient store/beer mart/local & independent beer bar/wine bar/music venue/Indian cafe (aka: the most awesome place in South Austin).  I tried a delicious cider new to me called Original Sin Hard Cider that was quite to my liking.  They even had this beer from a new local brewery in North Austin called Twisted X that was jalapeno-infused...very strange.

Wednesday we knew we wanted to go to Franklin Barbecue over on the east side because of all the rave reviews it has gotten from our friends and various publications.  It's been called the best BBQ in Texas, maybe even the U.S.  But the thing is they open at 11 a.m. and close when they run out, which is typically around 1 p.m. so a nice little line starts to develop outside the door as early as 9 a.m. every morning on the days they're open.  We got there at about 10 a.m., and the line wasn't too crazy yet so we were feeling pretty good about ourselves.  Once they opened the doors at 11, we waited about 40 more minutes before getting our food which was what we were expecting.  Let me tell you, it was SO very worth the wait.  The brisket was fabulously lean and tender and didn't require any sauce whatsoever.  You know it's serious when the queen of condiments and sauces here is telling you you don't need any!  Mmm mmm mmm.  Post food comas and nap time, we ended our night with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, which was very entertaining- a bit long, but just as good as the original.

Here are some photos from my weekend.  Enjoy the rest of your Thursday, and for those of you about to begin your actual weekend, I envy you to the ends of the earth.